I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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