This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
