so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
