The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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