no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
