Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
