he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
