Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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