I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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