just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
