Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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