Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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