Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
