She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
