come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
