do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
