brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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