well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
