so explain again why im purple
no
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
