I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
