He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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