Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
