i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize