Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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