He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
