i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
