I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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