Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She said her name was "party"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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