Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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