I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
