One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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