Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
