maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
