i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize