it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
