Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do herpes really smell.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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