Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
