yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
