he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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