It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
