I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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