My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize