is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
