Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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