the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
