On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
