Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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