I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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