You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
