dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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