Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this just has baby written all over it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize