So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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