Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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