just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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