Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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