She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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