the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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