did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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