I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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