so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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