If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
