I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
