I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We need to get me chipped asap
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
