so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize