it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize