Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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