she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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