worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
