Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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