no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
