I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize