So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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