Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
