it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
