Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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