the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
