I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
