So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
