After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
