you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
